Rickey Lynn

My Daughter Is So Sick

I wish my plate wasn't so full. My daughter is so very sick-all I can do about it is let her know how much I love her and wait on the doctors to make decisions. My prayers are that she has surgery this week or next - she is in so much pain and there is just no relief from it. If G-d really is so merciful, she wouldn't be in such pain now. I just want her to get well soon so I can stop crying and maybe get some sleep. This is just tearing me apart. She wants to be so independent, yet she needs to have me around her. When the pain hits her she just doubles over and cries. Jen is a tough girl, but this is more than she can handle. I'm not used to seeing her crying. I'm praying for her.

posted by Rickey Lynn @ 7:42 PM 0 CLICK HERE TO POST COMMENTS

It's so lonely

Two years ago today, my dear spouse passed away. I lost a big part of my soul then and have never gotten it back. People tell me it gets better. My question is when? People tell me that G-d never puts more on your plate than you can handle. My plate seems to overflow tonight. This is one time that I am having such trouble handling the loneliness. I know this will pass, but I will never forget. The emptiness is almost overwhelming. I love you Lori.

posted by Rickey Lynn @ 9:14 PM 0 CLICK HERE TO POST COMMENTS

I was such a fool

I just don't understand. He was a member of Mensa and a professional golfer. He was gorgeous. He was just too kinky for me! What he wanted was just too disgusting to go into. I guess I just feel so hurt now. How could he do something like this? He was so perfect it was hard to believe he was alive and in the same world with me. I can handle kinky only up to a certain point, and he far surpassed that point. What's wrong with him? Or is it me that's wrong? If I was confused before, now I'm totally messed up. I'm just in tears over this.

posted by Rickey Lynn @ 9:15 PM 0 CLICK HERE TO POST COMMENTS

Touched by an Angel

Today, I was touched by an angel. More specifically, a young woman who has Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I read her blog and can't begin to tell you how much if affected me. I found myself in tears that could not be stopped. In spite of all that has happened to her, she has such strength and will. I wish I could have the same, but I think qualities such as this are reserved for very special people whom God has seen fit to bless. I was touched by an angel today.

posted by Rickey Lynn @ 5:39 PM 0 CLICK HERE TO POST COMMENTS

I Feel Like Crap Today!

Between not being able to get my diabetes where I want it, and having some kids that are driving me up the wall, I'm sure I'm slowly losing my mind! When a mere child can tell a teacher to do something that is anatomically impossible, and get away with no punishment something is wrong with the system. When a child can pull the fire alarm 5 times in a row and not be pushished for it, something is wrong. When the teacher down the hall leaves her classroom in total tears, something is wrong. And when I go sit in my car alone and just cry my heart out for the sake of crying, something is wrong. I'll probably survive this, but I must admit I am so very unhappy right now. It's time for at least 1 thing to go right.

posted by Rickey Lynn @ 6:03 PM 0 CLICK HERE TO POST COMMENTS

On Suicide Prevention

A young person I know recently told me that "life sucks" and she wanted to end it all. I couldn't believe my ears. Here was a 13 or 14 year old with their entire life ahead of them telling me they wanted to check out. I put everything else on hold so I could spend uninterrupted time with her. Yes, she had her share of problems in life and with her family, but what she needed most was someone to talk to. I spent hours talking to her, and fortunately, she's still alive and unhurt today. I told her something that was told to me years ago when I felt the same way: "When you hurt yourself, the only person's you are hurting are those who love you the most!" When anyone tells you that they want to check out early, it's time to sit back and start listening. It's usually a cry for help, which if it goes unheeded too long, may result in their success and your loss.

posted by Rickey Lynn @ 7:46 PM 0 CLICK HERE TO POST COMMENTS

My Doctor

After many years of being a patient of my doctor I am considering changing doctors. I'd do anything to stay with her nurse practitioner, who I think knows more than most doctors, but that isn't the issue. I don't mind waiting for an hour to get to see my doctor - at least I didn't used to, but the other day I saw her after the usual wait, and she breezed in, spent maybe 10 minutes with me and then said I needed to come more often because the insurance company doesn't pay her enough to spend any more time with her patients! My ears are still ringing from her saying that. What ever happened to the Hippocratic Oath, or is it now the Hippocritic Oath? She used to be a fabulous doctor, but time has taken its toll. She doesn't seem to keep up her appearance like she used to, she's gotten on a naturopathic kick which I find myself diametrically opposed with, and she's become very brusque. I noticed the changes creeping in months ago, but dismissed them to her possibly having some problems at home, etc. Now I wonder if I've just been fooling myself. Her nurse practitioner is the way that my doctor used to be. She listens to the patient before saying much, and she shows a genuine concern for her patients that puts one at ease with her and willing to tell her what you wouldn't probably tell even your best friend. I'll probably stay with this office until things either get too bad there, or until I find another doctor who is more like her nurse practitioner. I have a friend who's mother is a nurse practitioner in another state. She tells me that they often have more schooling than a lot of the doctors. I believe it!!

posted by Rickey Lynn @ 7:30 PM 0 CLICK HERE TO POST COMMENTS